Conflicted
by e s c r i t u r a . c h i c a
Summary: Tonight was something Freddie really wasn't expecting. Tonight was just... Weird. And he really didn't think he'd end up getting beat up for a certain blond-headed demon. SAM X FREDDIE . Rated T for some violence.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly!_

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**"Conflicted"** - _Tonight was something Freddie really wasn't expecting. Tonight was just... Weird. And he really didn't think he'd end up getting beat up for a certain blond-headed demon._

"So Freddie who ya bringing to the party tonight?" Shane asked me just as we were getting ready to leave our AV Club meeting.

"Uh... I don't know if I'll make it tonight."

"That's too bad. I wanted you to meet Kayla." Kayla was his girlfriend from another school; they'd been dating for the longest time but no one ever knew or saw her. After the first two weeks, everyone thought she was just someone who Shane made up. I never said a word about it, though. It didn't matter if she was real or not. I had other things to worry about anyway. "Well, anyways, I'll see you on Monday buddy!"

He pats my back and I say my goodbyes to him before heading out different doors. The truth was, I was meeting my dad tonight in a long time. After he left for army when I was little, he hardly got a chance to return. But that wasn't all of it; he'd also ran away from home, from my mother. I disliked that a brave army man like him had to stoop so low to run away from a lady he was first in love with.

Richard Trevor Benson. Sounded like a heavy name, but then again mine wasn't so light either. I wouldn't say ecstatic or excited would be the exact words to describe my mood for tonight. I mean, instead of being at the homecoming dance tonight, I was going to spend my evening meeting the man that made my mother how she is today - insane. I'd be having a "man to man" talk with my father, but really all I would want to do is scream at him till I lose my voice. Mom, however, made me promise to keep my cool tonight. After all, it's not like anyone has seen my aggressive side before. Yeah, sure, Carly and Sam got a little preview when I was freaking out about my mom and Lewbert dating, but believe you me, I can do much worse than that.

On my way home, I decided to stop at Groovy Smoothie to pick up one for me, Carly, Spencer and Sam. We had iCarly to do just before they'd start getting ready for the dance tonight. Carly was going with Griffin - they had been back together for a few months now. Carly was able to accept him as long as they never spoke of his pee-wee babies too much, especially on dates and they also mostly hung out at Carly's place, dinner, movies, Groovy Smoothie, mall or Griffin's living room. Sam also had a date; a German exchange student, Leandro. Every girl in school was swooned by him; its like he cast a spell on them or something. Of course he went with the person who was least interested in him: Samantha Puckkett. Yeah, its true Sam didn't really like him - they had just made a deal: Sam wanted to go with Leandro to get Reuben off her back, and Leandro, well there wasn't really a deal on his part. Apparently he really liked her.

I reached Carly's place in no time, thinking about tonight. I don't even remember T-Bo annoying me to buy something, but I'm sure he probably did ask. I would like to see that one day when T-Bo wouldn't ask any of his customers to buy something on a stick; doesn't look like it'll happen any time soon though. "Hey, Freddo!" Spencer greeted me as I walked inside with four smoothies.

"Hey, Spence. Here's your smoothie." I motion towards the B-blitz I got for him.

"Oh, sweet!" He said, grabbing his large cup. "The girls are just upstairs."

"Kay." I said before heading up the stairs quickly.

"Girls, smoothies!" I yelled, running up the stairs. Carly was already holding the door open, knowing I had my hands full. I thanked her as I walked inside and placed the three smoothies on the cart just for a mere second before they disappeared into the hands of their rightful owners.

"Why'd you bring the smoothies before the show?" Carly asked. "We always have it after."

"Yeah, I know, but you guys won't have time to have them later. Party, remember?"

"Oh." Carly giggled foolishly. "Good thinking!"

"Okay, guys, thirty seconds to show," I said, readying the equipment and doing what I always do before the show by hooking everything up in its rightful place.

* * *

"Great show guys!" I exclaimed, still laughing from the prank we pulled this week on 'Messin' with Lewbert!'

"Yeah," Carly agreed. "Y'know, you'd think he'd catch up on having pranks done to him by now. But then again, it's hilarious to see him shriek like that every other week!"

"Yeah," Sam laughed, "Like remember the time when his wart blew off?"

We all shuddered simultaneously at the horrifying memory. "So you girls gonna start dolling up for the party?" As if on cue, the girls ran to Carly's bedroom, shooing me away to go home. _Well, how nice of me to remind them!_ I thought sarcastically before heading down the stairs. I took slow, lazy steps because there was nothing better I could do. Sure, my dad was coming to town but I wasn't going to dress up for our little meeting. He left me crying in a diaper, he's just lucky I won't be wearing anything like that tonight. I shuddered at the thought of me in a giant baby diaper at this age; it would scar people. Hmm... Let's never let Sam know about this or someday she _will_ make me wear that. Speaking of which, Leandro was already sitting on Carly's couch when I got downstairs. Wow, the party wasn't for another hour and he was already here? I scoffed; over achiever.

He turned his head around, and stood up. "Freddie, hey!" Guess he heard my little scoff there.

"Sup, Leandro," I greeted with fake enthusiasm. "How come you're so early?"

"Well my mom had to go somewhere and I was carpooling with Griffin and Carly. Besides, it's not like I would want my date to pick _me_ up - It's supposed to be the guy's job to do that."

"Sam wouldn't have cared." I lied; Sam liked being escorted to dances and parties, even if she denied it.

"Whatever, I still would have though. I won't let m'lady pick me up, that's just wrong." Can't argue with that...

"Hey, Freddo!" Spencer ran up to me from his bedroom. "Your mom called for you earlier; she wants you home as soon as possible."

"Kay," I said with a bored expression on my face, heading towards the door. "Thanks, Spence."

"Later, Benson," Leandro called. _Ugh_, I thought. _Why is **he** calling me that?_

"Have fun at the dance," _Not!_ "See ya, Spence."

They said their bye's as I left the apartment. I took a deep breath before opening the door to my apartment; I didn't really wanna go see my dad, and I didn't really want to go inside my apartment tonight either. My room stays completely out of this though; just for tonight, that can count as another space I reside in every night. My mother was sitting on the kitchen counter, glaring at the door serenely as to when I would walk in the door. As soon as I did, he face lit up and she started walking towards me. "Freddie-bear!" She exclaimed, "I have the perfect suit for you to wear tonight!"

"Mom, I already told you, I'm not dressing up for dad."

"Freddie, you haven't seen him for sixteen years for crying out loud! You have to look decent, you are after all his son."

"I wish I wasn't." I muttered under my breath, but of course my mother had super sonic hearing.

"Fredward Benson!" She scolded, "You will not speak of your father that way!"

"Mom, I love you, but I don't like that man, okay? So please... Just this once, let me do what I want!" I repeated the same line for the millionth time that week; I was surprised she still put up with a fight. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised; my mother can be _very_ stubborn.

She gave in, finally. Her shoulders slouched in defeat and she let out a big sigh. "Oh, alright," she replied. "Just this once, Freddie-bear."

"Thank you!" I said before heading up to my room. Even though I wasn't going to wear anything fancy-like, I still wanted to wear something other than the clothes I'd worn all day since morning. I headed in my room, grabbed my towel, bathrobe and the clothes I planned on wearing after I'd taken a shower. Yeah... My psycho mother finally "allowed" me to take showers; no more tick baths. Okay, fine, maybe I still had to take those but now I could at least have a shower instead of bathing every damned night.

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Since I still had some time before I had to leave to meet my father, I decided to say bye to the girls before they headed to the dance. As soon as I'd stepped out of my apartment, the two couples themselves stepped out of Carly's. The girls had worn the same outfits while we were representing the iCarly Awards. I cannot even explain how beautiful Sam looked in the blue dress; I really wish she'd dress up more often. Not everyday, but maybe once a week or so. I guess someone needs to hold a party every week for my wish to come true.

"Hey, Freddie." Carly smiled, "You caught us just in time."

"Yeah." I agreed, smiling at her and Sam, "You both look great!" I said, looking directly at Sam. She just smiled in response where as Carly said, 'Aw.. That's so sweet. Thanks, Freddie!' Which was honestly predictable. Carly always says stuff like that. I guess Leandro caught me glancing at Sam, so he put his arm around her waist. She looked at me, then back at him before pushing him slightly away which made me smile a little.

"You sure you can't come?" Sam asked.

"Positive." I replied disappointedly.

"Well, maybe next time, bro!" Leandro patted my back before the four of them headed towards the stairs. "See ya!"

Neither of them knew what my reason was behind not going to the party tonight; all I told them was that I was super busy and didn't let them bombard me with questions or trick and/or force me into telling them the real reason. It wasn't so big anyway, and I really don't care about it. Sure, I could tell them, but that would get Carly into a fit of questions. Neither of them really knew what happened to my dad, just like how none of us knew what happened to Sam's dad either. The topic of our "dads" never came up. But after tonight, it just might. Hey, that rhymed! I sighed to myself; no wonder Sam calls me a dork!

* * *

I waited patiently for my dad to come to the Groovy Smoothie. He was picking me up to go to dinner at a fancy restaurant; not that I was dressed for the occasion. Like I've probably mentioned about thirty times already: I really didn't want to be here. T-Bo came up to me casually, surprisingly without a stick with food on his hand and took a seat opposing mine. "Wassup, Freddie!" He said excitedly, "Wanna buy a donut?" And the stick came out from behind his back. Of course; why didn't I see this coming?

"No, T-Bo!" I replied. "If I wanted it, I would ask for it myself."

"Well then buy a smoothie."

"My dad's coming any moment to pick me up, I don't have time to drink a whole smoothie."

"$4.50 for the whole stick of donuts. Look, I even have them on the right way!" Surprisingly, he did.

"No thanks." I replied.

"Fine!" He got up and left. "_Wanna buy a donut?_" I heard his loud voice ask another customer who had just entered. The customer was tall, strong-built and dressed in a fancy suit which looked quite expensive. I took that as my cue to get up from my chair and wait for him to approach me. Mom told me he knew what I looked like so he should be able to spot me easily. I, on the other hand, had no clue what he looked like.

After, who I assumed was my father, rejected T-Bo on his offer to buy a donut, I saw T-Bo gesturing towards me. It's the twenty first century, I'm smart enough to catch on such clues. Dad began walking towards me and smiled just before stopping in front of me. He put his strong hands on my shoulders and embraced me, "My son!" he said in a strong, heavy voice... Much like his name.

"Dad." I replied in a dull voice. He already knew I wasn't ecstatic to see him; he abandoned me and my mother after all and he had the audacity to come and meet his seventeen year old son now? Hah!

"Let's go, my boy!" He said, already leading the way out the door. I was surprised he hadn't yet commented on my casual wear. After all, he was a well-dressed man who'd been escorted in a limousine with doorman's and what not. Wow, rich much? We sat inside the limo, opposing each other so he sat in front of me. His body was not at my eye-level. Damn, I felt short compared to him. What was he, 6"9 compared to my 6"4 form? Ugh!

"I got you a present," he said. He reached in his briefcase which was kept right beside him and handed me a small box, which looked like it would have a necklace in it or something.

"Um, no thanks." I wasn't going to accept a present from him. Why should I?

"Please, Freddie-"

"No."

"Look, I understand that you really hate me, but I had a reason to leave."

"Oh, yeah? Was it my mother?"

He chucked, "Actually, yes it was. You know how she is - always controlling, never letting you do anything of your own. I was tired of it."

"Then why'd you even marry her and bother to have me?" As you can tell, I was pretty mad. "I mean just because she's like that doesn't mean you have to hate us so much, you know. And why did you even bother coming now instead of meeting me before? Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have hated you as much as right now."

"I know. I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean for these things to happen on purpose, I promise you that much!" After realizing I wasn't going to comment on that, he went on: "Okay, now, is there someone you currently like? You don't have to tell me who, just say yes or no. You can trust me that much, can't you? I mean think about it; who else would you tell besides me? Your mother told me the main people you hang out with are the AV club buddies and two ladies you make that show with, iCarly."

"You watch that?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Haven't missed one episode!" He chuckles. "You do a splendid job with it, son!"

"Yes," I answer his question. "I think I do like someone."

He grins at me. I know what he's thinking, so he doesn't bother to voice it out. It was the 'I'm-so-proud-of-you-my-boy-and-I-bet-she's-awesome' look. "Okay, so imagine this: You marry her, have a lovely son, then realize what she's really like; insane. Everything about her starts driving you crazy and you just need to get away - You didn't have enough time to get to know her because it was an arranged marriage, not love. Sure you have you love your new family but what will you show your new born boy when he grows up? You don't want the kid to have a bad childhood because the parents can't stand each other, now do you? So what is the only option left? You leave them when the kid is really young and doesn't remember anything. Of course the mother gets to keep him because the husband was such an asshole and the mother, who may be a big psychopath but still a lovely woman, gives her son every sense of protection and teaches him never to do such a thing to any girl in his life. And then the boy grows up, hating his father even though his mother never said any bad things about him straight from her mouth; psychological reasons are set in the child's mind that his father is the biggest jerk on the planet. And, yes, he is. He left his family at such a bad time after all. And, now-"

"The dad is back, asking for his son's forgiveness and understanding and wants him to accept his present?" I finish his long speech.

"Yeah." He smiles, "He does, with all his heart!"

"That was a mouthful," I comment. I realized most of my anger had disappeared and I had already started to accept him, but the anger that still remained was seeking answers to the questions that were still locked up inside. "But even after all that, why does the father never bother to tell this to his son sooner rather than letting the hatred build up like it has now?"

"The father was scared. He had been gone for so long; he knew he wouldn't be accepted back. The first time he talked to his ex-wife was after four and a half years."

"Then why did his mother not tell him?"

"Her ex-husband told her not to; he was still afraid of his little son's reaction. He refused to see him till he was old enough to have a good perspective on things."

"Coward." I scoffed; I always had a good perspective on things. Okay, fine, maybe Sam changed that a little, but I still somewhat had one.

"Yes, he was. But now he's here. After sixteen years of not seeing his family, he's come back to plead for their forgiveness. He's already asked the mother's hand in marriage, but he needs their son's approval."

"What!" I shouted, nearly choking on my own spit. They were going get married again! How did they come to this conclusion? "How? When? Where? _Why_? WHAT!"

He chuckled at my state and asked me to calm down before muttering 'still needs a little more perspective' under his breath which obviously I heard. I took that comment as somewhat of a sign. I asked the driver to stop the limo, as soon as I saw a house with bright lights, and loud music - This was where the party was. I guess I was going after all. I opened the door and got out. Before I let my father speak, I told him I needed a little bit more perspective which would require thinking, or perhaps even have my mind blank - the party was my perfect getaway.

Before closing the door, I heard my father call out: "I'll be here! Take as long as you'd like!" I knew he was annoyed; why should he wait in front of a loud house for god knows how long I'd be there for. I wouldn't have cared if he'd just left, which I'm sure he probably will do no later than an hour. So I decided, I was going to stay at the party for at least an hour, minimum.

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So, I spent an hour in the corner of the living room, where no one came. If they did, it was only to make out and leave after noticing I was sitting there like a creepy pedophile. I really didn't care if my dad was still waiting outside or not; my guess was he was just about to leave. I still had a lot more thinking to do though; so far, I'd accepted to see them together and happy, but I still had to think about what my life would be like. What would Sam and Carly think? Boy, this would raise so many questions from them which I really didn't want to answer anytime soon.

After a while, I noticed a couple harshly sit down on the couch. The girl was pinned against the back of the couch, while the guy harshly pressed up against her, practically eating her face. I also noticed, now that my attention was fully focused on these hormonal animals, the girls hands were being held together, above her head. She was wearing what seemed like a sapphire blue, or maybe just a blue, and black dress. Her hair was long and curly, but I couldn't make out the exact color due to the bright lights and and glow sticks that were being waved around. I saw her hands being let go, loosely falling on top of his head. The guy's now vacant hand moved down to graze the bare skin on her thigh. While the guy groaned into her mouth, I heard nothing coming from the girl. Something had to be wrong. "OW!" He exclaimed, jumping off the couch. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Before she had the chance to speak, his hand raised and met with her skin harshly. My jaw dropped open; I cannot believe he just back-handed her. "Ugh! Don't you ever dig your nails in my neck again!" He warned, rubbing the back of his neck. It's too bad I couldn't see who these two people were, but the guy's voice sounded oddly familiar.

The girl got up off the couch with her hand on her abused cheek and began walking away. She hadn't even made it past the couches yet that she was dragged by the douche bag and pinned against the wall. I heard a soft whimper escape her mouth. I was surprised no one had noticed this... Then again, it was really loud and dark in here. He began sucking on her face again, holding her hands against the wall while her body tried to escape his hold. It didn't help her being pinned against the wall with her hands being harshly held down along with her face being sucked off by some idiot. Wait a minute, why was I still hiding in the corner here, being a bystander, instead of helping her? I wanted to help, I really did, but I couldn't stop staring. It wasn't pleasing, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from them. I knew it was wrong; he had just abused her for goodness sakes! What the hell was wrong with me? It's like I was paralyzed!

He moved his mouth away from hers, and began leaving trails of kisses down her neck and towards her right shoulder. He released her left hand. Using his own hand, he brought one of the shoulder straps down her arm, leaving her with a bare shoulder. I heard another whimper escape her mouth and noticed her body had given up struggling. His strong built body was too much for her fragile frame to handle. "Leandro, please stop!" She cried. My eyes grew wide and I immediately stood up, my hands curling into tight fists. How dare he touch Sam! How dare he slap her and how dare he sexually assault her like that. Urgh!

I stomped over to them, angrily. Planting my firm hand on his buff shoulder, I ripped him away from Sam's body. I was surprised I had enough strength to do that; I guess this month's workout was finally paying off in something. Leandro had fallen somewhere in the dancing crowd. I looked at Sam's swollen face; she'd clearly been crying for a long time, not just since I saw them come to the couch. I also noticed her left cheek especially red and swollen. Not to mention, there was a bruise forming on her right arm. Seeing her like this, so... _Broken_, was so surreal. I mean, yeah, I know that Sam doesn't take these situations well when someone either kidnaps her, or tries to take advantage of her, but I thought she was just exaggerating. Knowing Sam, she would kick your ass even if you touched her. I looked her in the eye, trying to search for answers as to how this happened, but all I saw was sorrow and tears streaming down her face profusely. The make-up that Carly had put on her had all been smudged. Don't take this to offense, but if Sam were to be in a horror movie right now, I'd be pretty terrified. But this wasn't the situation.

I felt my knees fall to the ground; I had been so lost in thought that I didn't feel Leandro kick me to the ground. He grabbed my hair, pulling my head back with it and threw me on the hardwood floor. That's when the shouting stopped; I could feel everyone's eyes on me and all I heard was the loud music. My head felt like a thousand pounds. I was dizzy, and I knew there was some blood lost when the hard floor met my skull. While I was dizzy, Leandro picked me up off the floor and tossed me on the wall beside Sam. He laughed, "You really shouldn't be messing with me, Benson!"

From the corner of my eye, I saw her grab Sam's arm harshly and demand her to come with him. I grabbed her other arm before he was able to pull her away. "Let. Her. Go." I said, venom filling my voice.

"What are you gonna go?" He smirked, "I mean... look at you. You're such a nerd!"

"Let her _fucking_ arm go, Leandro." I meant business. Yeah, this is not what I would usually do, but damn it he broke every rule! Okay, maybe not, but you know what I mean.

"Fine," he said, dropping her arm. But he was too cunning, he reached forward and grabbed her hair, yanking it towards him. She cried out in pain and my grip on her hand grew stronger. When she shrieked in pain again, I had realized it was her arm I was applying pressure to, rather than his. I would apologize for that later, right now I had some things to sort out. I let go of her arm, and launch myself at Leandro. Grabbing his collar, I once again manage to rip him away from her. But he didn't go very far this time. Damn the fact that I was still a little bit dizzy. "Hey!" he hissed at me, "You said let go of her arm, and I did!"

"You don't have to do this," I heard Sam whisper. I disagreed.

Before I knew it, Leandro had come at me with a punch, throwing me on the couch. The way he was coming at me, I swear I thought he would drag me by my leg and kick me. Instead, he punched me in the gut. Hard. I cried out in pain, holding my aching torso, feeling my body curl up into the agonizing curled up position on the couch. Another hard punch hit me in the chest, making me scream out louder. The way he punched me in the chest made me realize he was wearing rings. Yeah, they probably left marks. Another punch was met with my jaw, causing blood to drip down my chin. And the last one, before he was pulled away by Griffin, had been imprinted on my left eye which would probably turn black in a few hours. I was surprised - even though everyone was quiet, the music still hadn't stopped.

Just in a minute, I heard heels clicking against the floor, the music roar louder and the yelling resume. Wonderful that the party was back in action while I writhed in pain in a small corner of the mansion. Griffin had taken Leandro away from the scene while Shane helped me get up. Not wanting any attention or sympathy whatsoever, I limped my way out the room, and towards the front door. Shane offered to help me out, but I refused. Luckily us AV nerd boys had a good understanding of one another's silent language. Just by putting up a trembling hand in my face, he understood and removed himself as my support. As for Sam, she wasn't by the wall anymore. I wasn't going to bother looking for her right now, mainly because I knew she'd walked away with Wendy, so she was in safe hands now.

As I walked out the door, and made my way to the sidewalk, I only wished that my long-lost-now-returned father would still be waiting. Besides, it had just been over an hour. God bless my father for still being here. I managed to pull out my pearPhone which now had a small crack on the screen and dialed his number; I always had his number, but I never bothered to dial it. Good thing I didn't delete it like I was thinking of doing yesterday! He picked up in the first ring.

I ignored his greeting and cut him off with my horrendously hoarse voice. "Roll down your window," I spoke. "I'm gonna need you." And with that, my knees gave out as I hit the concrete of the sidewalk. I had absolutely no strength left inside me anymore.

"Oh my god!" I heard my father shout. In seconds, I felt a pair of hands grab my shoulders and lift me up, like I was carrying no weight at all. "Who did this to you?" My father asked me, anger reflecting his voice.  
I was breathing way too heavily right now, that I could hardly hear him speak. All I heard was me, panting like a dog and all I felt was pain and numbness. My eyes were closed shut because it took too much energy to open them and look at him. It was just a few seconds after when I passed out, seeing nothing but darkness and remembering nothing whatsoever. The last thing I remember thinking was, _Maybe I didn't prove myself to be a macho kind of guy... But at least I somehow managed to free Sam from that bastard._

**...To be Continued...**_  
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_Author's Notes:_

_Hey, guys!_

_I'm sort of back! =) ...Boy, I've missed being here! I haven't written anything (or updated) in so long, it's insane! I'm so sorry if I left you guys hanging at my stories that are now on hiatus. I promise I'll be getting back to that soon!_

_Anyway, I sort of wrote this in a hurry, and it keeps jumping back and forth and I'm really sorry if it doesn't make sense and/or sucks. It's like 3:00AM here, so I'm really tired, LOL!_

_This will probably be a two-shot (or maybe even multiple chapters), but I won't continue unless you guys don't want me to so please let me know, it would mean a lot!  
_

_Sorry if it's a little (or a lot?) OOC, I still hope its satisfactory - a writer can hope, right? But please review to let me know how it was. Good or bad, it helps!_

_p.s.: So, I kinda think the title sucks? But please let me know if you guys think of a better one!  
_

_Thanks,_

_* e s c r i t u r a . c h i c a !  
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	2. Chapter 2

**IMPORTANT AS HECK!**

Hey, guys!

I'm really sorry for not being to update. But I have a really good reason to do so.

A few days after I posted the first part of this story, my best friend told me she had found out that she has cancer. Now, I hope you all can imagine my state. Yeah, you really don't wanna know what I did that week.

Anyways, so since then, right now, and in the future, we've all been running around trying to sort things out with her appointments, trying to keep her calm, etc. So, I really hope you guys can wait and understand the tough circumstances life has decided to put us through.

I'm really sorry that I couldn't inform you guys earlier - I haven't really been home since about two days ago. I just stayed at my best friend's house cause she really needed me and stuff. so. Yeah. That's that.

Hope you guys are alright with waiting. I will definitely continue, just give me some time.

Oh and by the way. When I update, this chapter will be replaced, so look out for that!

Thanks!

e s c r i t u r a . c h i c a


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